As with the traditional sail-raising song, ” What Does One Do With A Drunken Spacer?” is a versitile list of suggestions for dealing with overly inebriated crew.

The opening line should always be said as if it’s in contemplation – “What does one do with a drunken spacer, so early in the morning?”  – as if you are a freshie officer looking upon a deck monkey.

So, What does one do with a drunken spacer, so early in the morning?

• You shove him in the brig until he’s sober. (x3)
  Er-lie in the morning.
• Suit him up and toss him over (x3)
  Er-lie in the morning.
• Put him back in uniform, call him Sir(x3)
  Er-lie in the morning.
• One-way ticket to Primus Beta !(x3)
  Er-lie in the morning.

  Note: Primus Beta is a seven-month voyage by hyperspace. AWOL cases have been reported missing for up to two years after being drugged and smuggled aboard a long-haul freighter.
  

• Put him in a dress, and name him Mary!
  Dump him in the station park with a bottle of sherry!
  Collect him later from the constabulary
  EAR-LIE IN THE MORNING!
  
• Throw him in the G ‘olde ’til he’s sober! (x3)
  Er-lie in the morning.
  Note: G ‘olde for Zero-G Hold.
• Steal the Cap’ns Yacht and take ‘er sailin! (x3)
  Court Marshall in the morning!
• Stick him with the bill, let him wait tables! (x3)